♥ ғогΣvєг ♥

2009-09-04T16:09:00.003+08:00

Hes always in my mind - conscious or unconsciously.
Hes in my eyes everywhere.
Hes the person that i will look out for.
Hes the one that i reserved 2 hrs for and will not reply to anyone else.
Hes the only one that i will get happy when he disturb me.
Hes the only one that i like that has _______ and _______.
Hes the one that i will be worried for.
Hes the one that i want to always talk to.
Hes smile is what i want to see.
Hes eyes are the one that i want to connect with.
Hes voice that i want to hear.
Hes singing is my melody.
Hes the one that makes me want to make him happy.
Hes the one that makes me sad when he seems so down.
Hes the one that i want to comfort.
Hes the one that i want to be comfort with.

Hes the one that i like and dont like.
I dont know.
But hes always there.Here, and everywhere.
He is... ________ . Hahaha like im going to tell u. If you know... SHUT UP!!! hehehe...

2009-08-03T10:59:00.003+08:00

Blablabla!!! haha

Wow!!!!!
He ___________
He has a __________
He has a high __________
Someone liked him and confessed before
He used to like __________
He sat in the ________ and at the __________
He seems not to like __________
He could not stop _________
He puts on a __________
He __________ me
He talked for _________ hours
He ________ me to tell me all those "crap" things
He has a different side of himself.
Hes hot !
Hes kind !

Who am i speaking about? Haha as if im going to tell you.
I made a promise and so i have to keep it. Even though promises are meant to be broken.
Hehehe.
Anyway. Im so not going to care about the previous post. Like ive said too dramatic.
And i was so in the " how am i going to get out of the jungle" mood, damn stuck. I msg a friend. Hahaha. Sorry friend. Dont bother to much You could delete it.

Ouh and i received a call from some mad person at 2am! Hahaha she thinks i haven sleep. Actually haven la. But shes concerN. Thank you so much. Hehehe. Really apreciate your " high technology". Hehehe

Im goin to do like what you say. Dont give a damn anymore. Be myself. Be who i want to be. What makes me happy. My choice. :) Enough of satisfying others. Now its my turn to make myself enjoy life. :) Wakakakakaka !!!!

Hehehehhee... Muahahahaaaaa...

2009-06-18T22:39:00.003+08:00

im really confuse.
He text her and asked me to text him. Why?
After that he text me.
We SMS-ed.
So random.
For the first time.
He asked if im going anot.
Well obviously.
However in the end. He didnt go cos no boys went. Understood.
He asked " you not angry or anything right?"
What makes him said that? He never said that and never he cared. Not that i know off ofcourse.
Actually wasnt angry but :(
Then after awhile. He said he needs to sleep cos cannot think straight ready.
Weird.

Anyway, met him to give him the presents. There was a reason in giving him that.
But after that .......... when it was around 7.30pm i realize that my sim card has gone by the wind.
I was so breaking down.
Nad and yushan became the victim.
I was so worried.
The funny thing is that i was only worried about one particular person which was him.
When im trying to let him go.
Typical of me.
Its impossible to let him go isnt it?
But do i have a choice?
It hurts.
I was so sad but then nad explain to him and when i want to sigh yushan reminded me about a superstitious stuff.
I was panicking.
Guess what.
I called him.
He was so funny.
He said i was lame.
But i was seriously scared.
He understood and laugh.
It was nice to hear his laughter.
After that i said " i love you yushan- i love you nad " twice.
Alright all im talking about is him.
I need answers.
I was tear-ing when i wrote the previous post.
( Well something about the post that is un-read-able so i have to change it. it the progress )
Anyway.
We really had fun at sentosa.
Nad was pulled to the water.
But i didnt get to ride the sky thingy.
We planned some stuff when the guys got to follow.
Waiting for that day to come. :)

O well.
Haha. when i was waiting for him, i felt asleep and woke me up by doing something to my hair and hairband.

After that.. I could not stop laughing and smiling randomly till now.
Im trying to stay positive all the way.
So this is what i said a couple of times...
" We just smile - and sleep - and dont do my hair like this "
Hehehe.

I love today. I enjoyed the breeze and strawberries and apple juice and potato chips and tom yum noodle and coke. :)

Ouh we met a group of familiar faces three times in an hour. What a coincidence.

2009-06-12T18:32:00.003+08:00

10-06-09

Okay the past daysssss we especially the dnt student has been going to school for dnt.
Okay i dont want to talk about dnt.
What i want to talk about is how noob is our dear ricky riady.

On Wednesday. The 5 companion when to bugis new shopping centre " di rumah " for movie.
Firstly we took 4.53pm-5.18pm to choose a movie. And it was the " monster vs alien "

erni - bob
fivly - the big eye caterpillar
hendra - professor cockroach
ricky - linc
arief - the big evil octopus

We watched and then went the movie was done we had to go through a small maize before getting out from the place ! Bad infrastructure!

Anyhu.... before that ricky wanted to go to the toilet but poor him. He was bad in reading signs.

The door says "push" and someone kept pulling it till he gave up. Hahaha. ! Then in the cinema, he was cursed! Sat at chair number 13 and hurt himself. Actually that was because of his noobidity. Hehehe. Nvm ricky not only you who is clumsy sometime. :)

After that we ate at long john and took new print. Hahaha Very funny. Not sure what is so funny but that day was a nice want. Too bad pansy didnt get to follow .

11-06-09

Okay today had to go back for physic and floorball. Physic was fine but floorball was awesome!
First time i saw mr gab screaming, playing and seeing myself perspire so much ! I played well:) okay im being bhb but after so many months not playing, i can say i was still ok as i still could tackle the boys. most of them. :) hehee
Oh i got a scratch on my face! Thanks to Luqman Hadif. ! Thank you!

After that it was normal. Suppose to go for a match with azie azam and taufiq but it was cancel. Nvm :) So that basically it for that day :)

12-06-09

Today ! Lucky isa was there to accompany me during dnt.
Ouh and he asked " erni are you always hyper active? and dont you emo? hahha
It was suppose to be our day off! Damn you mr johnny wee!
You made me come back and redo my stuff which you at first said it was correct!
Anyway.... ricky intro me a new song and in the mtv in was my boyfriend number....... errrr... i cant remember 20? Current boyfriend. Hahaha
Isa was irritated by me and i was irritated by Luqman, Alif, Hairi. Haiyooo!
I finished my researh for SA!! Yeah!

After that i met bandhu's mom and a myammarist guy. Long story. Dont ask.
Then now,here i am typing while waiting for time to pass to go to silat and kick some butt! :) Or get mine kicked :) Thats all..

Love, erni :)

2009-06-09T18:33:00.004+08:00

Haha. hes name is not O___ but A_________. Pansy. You had been calling his father's name and not his.
Hahahahaha.
Well. today. i talked to this mysterious guy again. obviously at the piano. well before that he said something. " later play piano kay" . then obviously everyday i played. haha . the best thing is that only when i played then he came. well what to do. im too sweet. ATTRACTION! haha. anyway he asked me to play a song for him. well hu are you dude!! anyway. i did. oh and i need to learn more songs ! Fast! . but then the conversation did not stop there. it continued. he asked my name again. and i didnt know why. i got to know his birthday. so weird. 12 december. oh speaking about birthday. he was the only one that wish me happy birthday-with shaking hand-without knowing each other-at telok kurau secondary school canteen. Long story. but . what a thing to remember right? haha. then talked and then he had class i think. and said" okay bye,
( walked then come back ) okay bye..bye:) . How weird. wrgh!

Total gag today was IiiiiSaaaaa and fivly. Really. ! well. This is all the happiness that sticks to me and no one. i repeat. no one can steal that from me:)

2009-06-05T18:07:00.006+08:00

Yeah! He did when out! Without inviting us.... Hmmm... ??????Why????
Hahaha pity yunrun.
HeHe

Anyway.pansy was absent and hahaha. Interesting stuff happened.

I tied my hair differently.
Quan talks alot to me today. :D So happy. Cos most of the time i could not make any sense
of what he said but today.. Understood!!!
Ouh the mysterious guy is known to be in a relationship. From facebook. So better not to notice him.
He talked to me today!
I mean like he saw me playing the " repeating same chorus " canon d which is really hard
and wants to hear it again.
Haha proud of myself that people wants to listen. Yes !

P.R.O.U.D

Thats the spelling Quan. Really seriously. Quan was a kind and funny person today. Haha.
What a pity that maybe its just for today. Anyway we are suppose to treasure every single
moment with one another. :)

Alot skipped class today. No suprise. Me and quan and asking isa to join to skip poa after
chem practical. BUT we decided not to
and i persuade Quan to follow. It was so funny as they owe
me
5o t.cen.s each!!! Debtor Debtor !

Anyway. Meeting azam azie :) taufiq hakim jaz kam and many more Ciao..
oH i just found out that most of my study buddy in school is a guy. I connect more with guys than girls in my school. Guys + My lovers. Miss F and Miss P. haha

2009-06-04T18:38:00.002+08:00

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apakah aku slalu dihatinya
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Kalau ku masih tetap disini
Ku lewati semua yang terjadi
Aku menunggumu Aku menunggu

( suara ku berharap )
Addicted to this part of the song.

2009-06-04T17:59:00.005+08:00

hehehe...
Today was alright.
Poa was a rush and jimmy was stressed out.
Relax boy.

My chem and currently poa partner is jimmy.
My english partner for the june intensive is Quan.
Yes quan. I talked about him twice in my blog.

As usual. The " can you please repeat again " sign was all over my face.
I love quan 's hair. haha. The hair and only the hair. Haha and he laugh to basically everything.

OH .....

HEAD LINE
Today is isa's, my monitor, birthday.
Today is yanda's,my junior, birthday.

HaPpY bIrThDaY GuYs.

Hahaha suddenly i miss "kai" hais. Haha. But also a thought " He will never like me, ever "
( With supportive evidence )
kind of thought strike me. Its no use talking about it if its only giving me a false hope.
Hais. HeHe.
Just leave it to fate. :)
But ill always be happy for him and will always be here if he needs me :D
always in my heart. :)

Okay. Im not sure why. but i will always want to pay attention to this particular person in my school.
Hes a guy, and no, i dont like him but theres something that makes me want to look for him at a certain time and at a certain place. Maybe because he seems mysterious, funny maybe.
Just allow time to walk me through the path of life and getting to know more people. :)

2009-06-02T21:22:00.002+08:00

haiyo haiyo hayo!!!!
My result ah???
haiyo haiyo haiyo!!!!

Really bad! Can say the worst. Imagine! The worst! Need to splash myself with ice water.
Omg!
Really know. Well thats the past. Now and future have to concentrate.
Really la..concentrate. I dont have the brain .... Im JimmyJack.
.....so i have to work on my character.
Work even harder??
No extraction. No disturbance.
Even though i spent a day looking at a guy that was totally sweet! Hes smile hes laughter and hes a fighter. A good wan. Better than be ofcos.
I dont know his name!:( Its my lost and well perhaps thats the last time i see him in this world.
Okay.. Hello! Concentrate.
Yaya. Okay:)
Today is totally a school day and not a holiday. haha..
Ciao. :)

2009-05-28T17:42:00.002+08:00

wait wait wait wait wait !!!!
i made a mistake.
Its not for every heartbeat.
well okay all.
but.....
for the two heartbeats ♥
that beats as one.
Who are meant for each other.

2009-05-22T16:54:00.008+08:00

love

2009-05-19T22:52:00.002+08:00

OMG!
omg ! omg ! omg !
He said good bye...!!!!!
( Someone learn from past mistakes - haha- And it was a good goodbye. )

Today was totally one great awesome day.!!!!
Took ONE picture with someone.
Sat beside in the cinema with someone.
Gave cake with a plastic in it to someone.
Got a seal ( special to me ) from someone.
Got a sarcastic laugh from someone.

Everything that he did or happened came with a reason.
A valid one especially from him.
I am just so so so happy. " Good boy ", you dont realise how important you are to me.
How you made me smile and talks about you all the time.
I dont know if you feel the same way.
I hope you do.
I want you to.

I got alot of sweet and cute presents form my old friends.
Hehehe.
Hais. So funny la today.
I cant wait .... for the day that everyone go picnic together and ... and...
play with ...
WATER!!!!

Haiyo.. erni is so in love with her "kai" haha okay.thats hes nick name that i use to call him.
Hais. She talks about him to all her friends every time.
To her friends - please do not be irritated by what she says.
:)
Alright. sweet dreams to all.
Waiting for nads phone call:)

Surprise

2009-05-14T21:30:00.004+08:00

21:01:43
14/05/09

You dont know how much it meant to me.
Alot.

" Hey fren... hope u remember me..
Haha. Anyway just wanna wish u a happy happy
happy Bday !! May all ur dreams come true. "

Ofcos i remember you silly. You are the only one that is always in my heart.
Im so sorry if you may be uncomfortable with my behaviour tat seems to be like stalking you. But i am not. I JUST...hais...

Okay...Thanks.. what you said and exactly at that time.
Its not saved in my phone as i had to use another phone for that time being.
But when i want to change back the sim card, your msg pop out.
It gave me a shock of my life.

I almost felt extremely sad. I mean seriously. Everyone msg and wishes but not you.
Waited and waited and waited.
Perhaps you have your own reason and i may not be as important as you are to me.
And you said friend. Do you regard me as just your friend or maybe something more than that?
Seriously ... my heart skips 2 beats okay.
Im not sure what my feelings for you are but im sure its involving true heart.
I think you will never read my blog and ill be scared, no terrified to know your reactions.
However i cant lie to myself or my feelings anymore.

If you cant accept my feelings for you then perhaps i have to learn to let go and we will be friends. Best friends

But trully i dont want that to happen. You say hope my dreams will come true.
One of my dreams is you.

Thank you for the wish. Thank you to all:)

2009-05-13T21:28:00.002+08:00

What i feel right now.

Terangkan padaku oh kasih

Explain to me my love

Terangkan apakah sebabnya

Explain to me the reasons

Usah kau malu

Dont you be shy

Usah kau ragu

Dont you hesitate

Aku masih lagi menunggu

I am still waiting

Dulu kita pernah gurau senda

We used to spend times laughing together

Dulu kita pernah tegur sapa

We use to acknowledge each other

Senyummu mesra

Your pleasant and wonderful smile

Riang gembira

Really happy

Pabila kita berjumpa

When the times that we met

Semenjak kita berjauh jauhan

Since we apart and drifted away

Hilanglah dari pandangan

It lost in the mids of eyes

Mungkinkah

Perhaps

Perasaan

Feelings

Teman lama

Of an old friend

Kau lupakan

You had forgotten all about it

Untuk selamanya

Forever

Kau masih menjadi pilihanku

You are still my choice

Hati aku penuh mengharapkan

My heart still hopes for you

Walaupun dikau

Eventhough

Jauh dariku

You are yet so far from me

Kau tetap jadi idaman

You are still the only one that is in my heart.

2009-05-12T20:14:00.002+08:00

Its a satisfaction to see they are together. Again.
But beneath the satisfaction, It lies a sense of loss.
Its the second time.
I feel pathetic. So pathetic.
I have no reasons to feel that way but..
i just felt it.
I know the usual word that will be sad is that
" no i shouldnt feel that way and never will treat you that way "
I know.
But this is the second time.
Everytime i tried to solve the problem for people,
I end up feeling left alone. I mean just left a side.
Maybe basically its because after a fight the warriors will have to spent time together just to
ensure that their bonds are back together.
And each time it will be only them.
Hais now i guess the negotiator always have to leave when hes job is done.
~ Di mana bumi di pijak di situ langit di junjung ~
Maybe its just the culture of life there and here is different.
Well im being sentimental right now.
Maybe because _________________ never even say hi!!!!!
Wrgh! anyway.
No time to be sentimental.
For now. HAHA
Okay.
till here.
Bye

Love erni.

2009-05-11T20:10:00.003+08:00

It was not weird at all !.
Today when out with Jimmy and Nad to study chemistry.
Hahaha.
Jimmy called nad " NADcase "
It was raining and we didnt study at the roof top but at mac.
Bought them ice cream.
We wanted to buy something that symbolises three of us
BUT
it was freaking hard la.
We purposely stopped at doughby gauht just to take pictures
I did tell you nad, it is really very hard to get a perfect picture. :)
I was like a tour guide showing jimmy around orchard.
Obviously he hasnt got a chance to go there before. :)
It was damn tiring.
Seriously.
I was so scared of the charkey - wait is that how its being spelled? -
Anyway the posessed doll that kill people.
Yeah thats the one.
And guess what jimmy did?
LAUGH AT ME .
Thank you very much jimmy.
We saw a lot a lot and a lot of couple.
Hahaha.

Saturday - When vivo with nadhirah
Sunday - When bugis and vivo with jimmy
Monday - When vivo with nadhirah and jimmy

See the similarity?

Hahahahaha.
Anyway. Just now morning when to meet Bofang at Bedok Mac for dnt
and he treat me and Jimmy for lunch.
Thank you bofang.
Ouh and see ya tomorrow jimmy.
jimmy SEEMS TO BE A REAL BODY GUARD
cos it seems that ive been meeting him every day.
Well what are friends for if never stare at each others face ans laugh at each others silliness :)
:)

I hope nadhirah remembers jimmy's favourite word - " ci bei " and what he asked her to do as a favour:)

kids

2009-05-10T21:11:00.003+08:00

Believe it or not,
Jimmy and me talked about tamiya cars.
The one place that we wont miss to visit if we go out is the
Toy'R'Us.
Hahaha it was his idea actually.
It was damn funny.
We as young adults played around at the soft toys area.
Hahaha it was so childish.
HEADLINE
Jimmy is scared of one thing.
The Escalator.
Seriously.
Hahaha.
He gave me a shock of my life. :)
We were suppose to study but as usual slacked alot but manage to well studied for a while.
Hes damn funny. My body guard.
Actually didnt want to go cos got a slight fever then he said he want to ask me out.
Which sounds so wrong.
But i know what he meant la.
How i wish if _________________ that asked me that.
Hais.
It was fun as he met his brother at vivo.
haha.
I splashed water at him when hes leg was cramp in the water and he called me
something.
I cant remember what.
But not taken to the heart.
Tomorrow meeting some people and i hope that it will be a new experience and a fun day.
I really hope so but its going to be a disappointed day for jimmy.
Never mind jimmy we are here for you.
:)
Seeya tomorrow :)

vivo

2009-05-09T20:25:00.005+08:00

Vivo.
Never expected to be happy each time me and nadhirah talked about
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Cant believe that ______________________ remembers it. Haha and some other
stuff that my best friend who is high at that moment asked about.
Actually it would be a dream come true if that particular thing really happen.
Hahaha.
Okay when to vivo and studied physics from chapter 10-18.
Alot right? Kind of a satisfaction for us. :)
After that we went to eat ice cream.
Mc furry for me and hot sunday fudge for her.
After that revised poa and with more practice, i think that we are alright.
I believe i have friends that cares about me and will support me all the way.
Perhaps along the way some may back off becos of my attitude or decision
however
i may not fall but stand for the sake of me and the one i love.

I am so glad that both of them are alright now. If shes mad at me for the post i wrote, all i can say is that im sorry. If you still unhappy with me then you will just have to deal with it okay:)
Hope that all three of you will be alright there. I said three because you guys are so near to each other rather than me. BUT. dont forget me here.

Hais. So near yet so far. Thats what yun run says. Hahaha
[ randomly ].

Okay so many episode in my life. Half of it consist of family. Quarter is my best friends. Another 1/8 is for my own thoughts another 1/8 is all about you. :)
Its quite a big percentage and im proud of it .
It brings joy and laughter into my life even if you dont even know it.

i hope that you are always happy and in good health. :)
Good nite and sweet dreams to you . To all of you.

2009-05-06T22:14:00.003+08:00

Rumours about 2012 is everywhere.
Is it really going to happen.?
Im kind of scared but hey if its time for you to go..
then its time for you to go right.

I have a confession to make.
If its really happening i would like to stay with my family and...
before that this is what im going to do.
" ill take the bus and go to where you are"
" ill knock the door if you are at home"
" ill pull you out if you are playing sports with your friends"
... and this is what im going to say...
" hey, i know that i may only see you in the after life time and before that i want to tell you something. You dont have to say anything or do anything but just listen to what im gona say.
You were the person that captured my heart for the ast 6 years and you are still the person that has my heart,
I may not be the person that captured yours.. but all i know that is that the memories that we had together is enough to bring happiness to my life. And that
I love you."

Ps: Im sure everyone will do or have the same thought as me for their love ones and this time the person is you. You are the only person that is written in my heart. :)

mid year 2009

2009-05-06T21:56:00.002+08:00

I wish you good luck no matter what.
Basically that is the only thing im capable of doing right now.
I cant call you.
Just cant.
Maybe im over reacting.
Each time i think of you or hear your name, my heart skip two beats.
This is the first time after 3 years i felt that kind of feeling.
Its kind of a great yet scary feeling.
How should i put it? - Just know that its a mixture of happy excited and nervous at the same time.
Yeah somewhere around those lines.
Till now there is no reply. Why?
Maybe im getting over the reality. Dreaming in my own lala world hoping...
Hoping for something that might never happen.
But you see... you gave me hope and at the same time shattered it. So should i thank you?
OR
Being mad at you ?
Hahaha being mad at you is never possible you know why?
Cos being mad means that i dont like you. That is totally wrong cos
i hate you.
Hating you is the only thing that makes me stronger cos the word hate comes from the word love.
Figure the meaning out.
Your smile will keeps me happy and smile for as long as it can be.
Thank you and good luck to you. Good luck to all of you.
:)

2009-05-01T21:04:00.004+08:00

Sevent-een-n again.

If you plus each letter of the full name together, you will get 17.
I didnt realize how important you were to me till the day that i met you and there
wasnt a goodbye said.
I didnt realize how lonely i was without you till the day that there wasnt a word heard from you.
Sometimes i thought about the sweet memories we had together it just gave me the strength and hope that maybe.. theres a chance between us after this 3 years. But, the sour memories just kept me thinking that you were just there as a shadow. Someone that is there but cant be touch be seen fully and will dissapear once the sun shine through. As if you will only be there when im alone in the dark accompanied with a dim of light. I know its a good thing but i dont want that.

What i want is that you will always be by myside through the day and night. The sun the moon the stars will be there to witness our presence together. That is enough to shine my life.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . <- And thats you.

Disappointment

2009-05-01T20:48:00.003+08:00

If i werent your friend ill say that you are a bimbo and acting like a _____. However the fact that i am your friend.. ill still say that you are a bimbo and and acting like a _____. If she wont say anything in the future. Perhaps i will. If matter get worst and i just cant stand seeing my best friend getting hurt just because of your pathetic actions.

Cant you be a human being with feelings? Well maybe you do have feelings but cant you be a human being and have feelings towards your friends by not being a fishmonger and only concern about yourself. Im her best friend and i told you i can only regard you as a friend now. So obviously i wont let someone hurt my b friend. I thought that everything can go back like old days but i guess its getting worst - drifting away.

Why? You care more about "a stranger" rather than a friendship that has gone through sweet and sour of life together? Wow! I actually dont care of what you want to do but cant you atleast have the guts to tell my friend face to face of what is really going on. Dont ever play with peoples feeling cos one day your feelings are going to be played. Its just karma.

I am so damn pissed off with your actions. Even though we seldom see each other but it just took a day to see everything thats has been happening.
Actions trully speaks louder that words.
I hope that everything is gona be okay. I know that my best friend will always says okay and everything is fine but in her heart,I cant read whats written in her heart but i know what she feels. you guys just shattered it slowly and silently. So im not going to let that happen.

260409

2009-04-26T21:49:00.002+08:00

Good bye to you H.A. You was just there perhaps bcos i was totally going lalala about the love at first side. However. I trully know who is in my heart.
Its kind of silly if i think about it again.

3years.

3years. full of memories. Hais.

Anyway. Today when out with nadhirah,yushan,sandy,kestler,yukito,alvin,egin and time.
It was kind of a happy day for me. It totally cheered me up.
Okay even though only " a few words was said to each other- and the eye contact which im not that sure off... just developed this feeling. the same feeling i had for the whole 3 years. "
The " haha " The " hand signs " The " toilet incident " The " opening of curtain " . Less than half aday, already a few memories in my mind that cant be erased. Thats how wonderful life is.

Anyway. The whole journey home with nadhirah tlked about how happy i was. Was totally happy. Not sure if im the only one thats being happy and clapping my own hands. I hope not. Actually i dont wan it to be that way. Totally not. How i wish.................
hais. I hope my dreams.. okay my wishes will come true.................

ouh and we talked about prom night. Me and nadhirah. Well i am still just too happy today.

nad: awak haha awk tulis the last line ..mcm obvious gitu. hehe takpe la:) kite happy gile awak.
" Usahlah dipersalahkan terjadinya perpisahan ini , itu suratan takdir. Tak terlintas di hati ini untuk aku jatuh cinta lagi tapi takdir yang menentukan."
my version " Usahlah kumelupakan terjadinya peristiwa ini, itu suratan takdir:). Tak terlintas di hati ini untuk aku jatuh cinta lagi tapi takdir yang menentukan."
continue..." Ingin aku memperpanjangkan peristiwa hari ini, itu harapan baru, Takku sedar di hati ini hanya engkau yang ku sayangi. itu sesuatu yang pasti:)

Disappointment

2009-04-25T19:51:00.003+08:00

Well hello world.
It has been long since ive blogged.
So many things happened. Just to update. Hais
LOVE AT FIRST SIDE.
well even though never talk to him or being notice.. hais its really kind of sad to know that there is absolutely no chance. How wonderful. Already K is flying away from my mind as no hope also.. hais..
Okay i may not want to say the name. But its totally cool!!! Really.
H . Hais.
Usually il go lalala.. but theres no point anymore right.
Hahaha Jimmy is my body guard. Can you believe it? [ there might be a delay jimmy, sorry ]
Anyway. I kind of hold secrets that i can never reveal. However knowing that secrets makes me observe more in details towards ppl behavior. Its kind of funny and sometime there might me envious kind of feeling.
Okay i think im still in the gwrowing up stage.
Hahaha.

Anyway....... wouldnt it be nice if life was better, thean everything will be so smooth. haha
crapp!
anyway... good luck to everyone for mid year. :)

A bad week

2009-04-09T22:29:00.004+08:00

I lost my phone - it was stolen.
I lost the sense of satisfaction.
I lost the sense of wanting to help.
I lost the scene that i want.

I lost my phone. Yeah its my fault. I left it somewhere and obviously get steal. However the stupid person did not have to take it as its with code lock and threes my pic. I lost my pics, my contacts, well everything in the phone.
Okay. Already frustrates me. And then comes another wonderful thing.
The next day. Class tee day.

Hahahaha- too gay for them? Too abstract? Too complicated?

Well hello. I designed it. I volunteered to design it. Did anyone gave a helping hand at anytime?
Yeah only " hey erni, can i see the design? Have you done the design? Why so long? Why not put this thing?....." did anyone like say " hey erni, let me help you do some of the things" Anyone? i doubt it. Im not saying that ouh you have to help me and if not you are well ungrateful. No. thats totally wrong. Well i know you guys want to well show concern but hey i got lots of things in my hand. All coming to me and i have no sheild no armour to protect. And im not talking only about school here.

Perhaps im more frustrated because ppl changed the entire design like 5 hours before the deadline to the appointment. Yeah kind of long huh. Minus 2 hours of my dnt class. Minus 2.5 hours of my cca and left what? 30 mins? Well LOL. And did you guys helped to draw?Did anybody helped? Ouh ya right, I volunteered and neveer asked for help. Well if you are a friend, no need to ask. Some friend huh. Anyway. The job is done. YOu guys are happy with the piece of ____ i produced. Yeah. ME.I.MYSELF produce it. Okay my bad.not only me. with the help of maya. Well another thing that makes me annoyed. I draw, i explain, my some first idea and i just keep quiet like a fool ( as i dont want to creat conflict ) and i sent it to print and i dont like it. Not at all. Not any part of it eventhough apart of it was my idea. I know i know " erni, the first design is really nice la but i love this i really love this. " What am i supose to do? Go with the flow. I tried to. But i cant let the frustration go just yet. Not sure why. "Maybe because im angry at myself. Trying to hold everything together and when i lose it i just cant take it. Try being in my shoe man.
I guess no one gives a shit huh. Well i really sound like a bitch right now huh. I just need to right it down. So well now my job is done and im not giving any more shits either. If you guys are going to hate me for this well so be it. You guys are just some random ppl in the world which i got to know.:)

Thank you maya,isa,bandhu,jimmy and MR JOHHNY WEE. yeah the last person that i thought will help me. I guess i was totally wrong. Sorry mr wee. Now i see the real world. I think i owe you 2 hours.:P Peace. Im sorry id i had troubled you guys. Seriously im sorry. I cant promise that it wont happen again. :P but it will only happen once in a blue moon:) hehehehe
So for now be hapy peeps and well forgive me if im acting like a byaatch which i am not one of them . I wrote this following my frustration with the situation not with anyone. Well maybe some ppl but just ppl.

See ya.

nad: Hais awk. Buat baik pon salah. Lebih baik takya buat kan. Seriously awk. Kite hari tu tak le tahan sebak. Lagi biler hp kiter hilang. Kene meet deadline and its like a few hours deadline. Homework lagi. Nasib baik ader cikgu giler tu awk. Slalunye kalau org nangis dier make fun but hari tu, dier just tanye what happen and talk to kite for about 20 mins. Kalau la K ader awk .Kalau la kiter org mcm dulu, boleh kiter msg atau kol dier untk share masalah. Hais. Kite mcm raser kiter kehilangan byk bende. Even kat rumah kiter jarang bbual ngan sesiaper. Semua do thier own stuffs. Aper kite nak buat awk. ? :) OUh spend our time wisely:)

2009-04-05T22:16:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Azie. Hope you like the present. :)

Anyway. To you plague expert. Im sorry to scold you. You can say whatever you want.
I dont care anymore. I just got something worst.
Something that made me tears.
Maybe ill share with you. As i dont know you. And please dont tell me who you are .. Hahaha internet friend?

I was labelled a bitch from a person i love. Well im not a lesbian just that shes a sister. She said i sound like a bitch when i wrote a phrase that i quote from a book and im not erni that i used to be.
Im not angry. Just very sad. Didnt expect that.. But what if shes right? What if ive changed? Become a person that im not used to be.
I dont want to be a new me.
What do you think of me plague expert? Do you know me? As in know know me?
What do you see me as? What would you describe me as? A person who is.......? Im confuse. Not sure of what. You know.. new life.. new friends.. i dont think ive change just that i have to mix around with dif type of ppl. right??? ...hais... anyway... nite to my blog and to you plague expert.

The clock

2009-03-30T21:51:00.002+08:00

8.28 - 8.30 pm .

The 2 whole minutes. Just simply two minutes. It was funny. Thanks again friend.
Not only funny but a memorable one. Im not sure why i am so happy after talking to some friends.
Its just a time when you can remember the small sweet things that happen in life.
Its the same friend i talked about.

Okay, Pansy was so happy today and you know why. Obviously - TKG. ^^
Hais, me and my dearest friends are having some future problems. Hopefully will be solve and the mystery will be reveal without hurting anyone. :) Kampate to us:)

Tomorrow going to some place and not school. :P Naughty girl.

I called literally everyone in my class and repeated the same thing atleast 30 times:)
Thank you and welcome.
I hope tomorrow is nothing but hopefully theres something.
No as it will be trouble
Yes as it will tell me what is it rather than having it without knowing what is it.

Anyway, SO many homework to be done. Wrgh.
Nevermind goodnite to all :)

2009-03-29T20:10:00.002+08:00

hey you! Yeah you!

Plague experts ; i got something for you. MYOB.B .............!!!

I have the feeling you will read this and maybe we know each other. Just that i dont . GDI.

Let me intro myself - name erni, pingyian, love to laugh and hate to be labelled. Especially being curse. How about you? I guess i get to know you a lil better now huh, someone that likes to give advise and mind others buisness:) Thank you:)

2009-03-28T19:01:00.002+08:00

This is so freaky lah.
On friday, english lesson, we talked about some plague disease think and after that i felt real itchy.
I aked pansy to feel it but she said it was nothing. Guess what! At night my whole body had it! So horrible! my hands, my face, my leg, my body, my butt!, everything!
It was so embarrassing in the bus after silat and abang hakim and jazli was asking for a slap:)
Anyway! How creepy can it be! EEw!

So itchy itchy ITCHY ITCHY...!!!!!!!!!!

A touch

2009-03-28T17:59:00.002+08:00

I get it. No i dont get it actually.
I tried to hold it so tightly, so closely that i dont realise that everything is flying away.
Im not sure whats on my mind but i feel a sense of lost; a lost of who i am and whats bothering me.
Is it because the change of attitudes my friends are giving me.?
Or they have realise that im just not that good enough to be their friends?
Or maybe because we are of different gender and that they are shy or embarrassed of the comments people give to us. ?
In my opinion, as long as our terms are friends, theres nothing wrong. A friends love is actually more unique than a lovers. So why afraid losing your lover when you got your friend?
I know the anwer :) Its obvious right?
The person you love will be by yourside but will someday leave you but friends will always be there for you. OKay maybe not all.
But i get it, its not easy to be in that situation.
Anyway, its not just about friends.
It about something else. Something that i cannot put my fingers onto it for now.
Maybe its me. I myself being thinking to much to be with friends. Wants to have all the friends.
Ive tried to not think about it, not even for a little while but.. the mystery keeps me wanting to know, wanting to prevent it.
Anyway, its better to stick with people that you know and that will maybe understands you.:)Now i understand what a "click" is all about. But im still afraid of losing my friends. Nevermind, ill survive:)

I just need someone to be there, to listen, to say thats its alright. Im not trying to attract attention or wants attention. Im just a girl with emotions. A smile or a thank you will always be enough for me as an appreciation from someone after helping them. Its hard to say no in helping and ill always say" ok,sure." I know, stop saying it then. The point is, ok maybe its now all about you. I want to here it from you, but how can that be possible.?

Now thats impossible, must i stop helping? I help ppl is because of my own will but the exta help is actually because of you. Indirectly i helped myself alot by being patient and being happy just knowing the impossible will happen. Hahahaha well. Its impossible for me but not for my friend.
Kampate DEAREST FRIENDS,,!

i wont forget you as i cant forget you however i will try not to think of you as each day only you i think about and i wont be unhappy about the fact of imposibility as unhappiness will only bring regrets:)

Alright:)
- I have alot to do, homeworks! hahahaha.

Thats all for today, it felt much better after writing but it will feel wonderful when you would want to listen.

Headline

2009-03-22T19:16:00.004+08:00

oh man... oh no no no no no no!!!!!!
Erni is giving up on kai. !!!!!
Should she..?!!!!
Can she?!!!
Dont know what to do..!!
Confused..!

Dreamt..
Felt scared..
Yet happy..
Memories left..
Pictured in the mind..
Remembering of the other girl..
The other party..
Uncertainty of the future..
Separated for years..
Different people in our life's..
Change of attitude..
Busy with stuffs..
Scared to get hurt..
Dreams are not meant to be real..
Fantasy can never come true..
Reality accompanied with cruelty..

Left with fate and faith..

zoo

2009-03-22T18:53:00.002+08:00

okay :)
Today i went to the zoo. Pictures will bee uploaded soon. Anyway, what is so interesting about zoo,?the animal ofcos. However my eyes was not only open to see the weird smelly scary funny cute and adorable animals but also well hot guys, which was not obvious.
This one guy was totally hot. Alrght stop it erni, you have to behave yourself. Well i did and that is why i can only say about it here,in my blog. Anyway 100% he has girlfriend and a person who is very close with his family especially his younger cousins. I meet him went i was visiting the white tiger. And guess what,..?! his eyes was blue. i mean like seriously BLUE . My colour, okay actually one of my fav la. How awesome is that?

Then when to ang mo kio and ate tom yum noodle soup. It was yummy:)
Then was so full and we went home. I have to rush through my homeworks but here i am typing.
Well thats me. Have to change that attitude girl.
Alright.
Till here then
With love
Erni.

Joy

2009-03-16T21:57:00.002+08:00

Alrighty,
I know he maybe have girlfriend, okay totally has one. None of my business actually.
Not that i like him. Okay Cant say that i dont cos i do but i dont cos i only had a crush. Well not a crush just like the way he looks and the way he talks and his dressing. Well i dont have to continue do i. Okay.
Me and him are so out of the topic. We treat each other as friends. And well just know that i did mention him once before. Just once.
The main point is, everytime, not that many times, just when on the phone with him, totally makes my day a colourful one. Seriously.

Maybe one of the reason is because half of the time i will have to ask him to repeat everything that he says. Hehehe. Well.. Hahaha i just cant stop laughing and smiling.:) Just when the name comes to mind, ill laugh out of the blue. This means that im not mad or crazy okay. Just that the memory brings back laughter and joy.
Thank you friend.

2009-03-15T11:23:00.004+08:00

hey:) i got a story to tell..
Once upon a time... Hahaha Lame okay stop erni..
Here it goes... [ malay version ]

Aku hanya seorang penternak. Membantu ayah diladang di kebun untuk mendapat pendapatan supaya dapat menampung hidup kami tiga beranak - aku, ayah dan nenek.
Dari kecil ibuku sudah lama meninggalkanku. Hanya ayah dan nenek yang menjagaku serta membesarkanku hingga dewasa kini.
Aku mempunyai seorang sahabat dari kecil lagi dan kita bermain bergurau bersama- Helmi namanya.
Dia datang dari keluarga yang berada. Hubungan kami erat sekali seperti isi dengan kuku.

10 tahun berlalu..

20 tahun berlalu..

Dan kini, helmi belajar di universiti KL. Walaupun mempunyai ijazah, aku bertekad untuk terus membantu ayah menternak lembu-lembu serta mendampinginya. Hubunganku dan helmi semakin erat dan ayah dan nenek setuju jika kami berkahwin. Namun aku belum bersedia. Hidupku dan hidup helmi berbeza. Dia suka hidup di KL tetapi aku suka pemandangan di ladang, dan suasana di kampung. PEnternakan inilah yang membesarkanku. Dari hasil penjualan susu lembu yang membenarku belajar hingga menara gading.

Setiap minngu helmi akan menjengukku di kampung. Pada suatu hari kita bergaduh kerana aku tidak mahu tinggal di KL. Aku melukakan hati helmi. Helmi adalah seorang insan yang aku sayang dan ingin aku menghabiskan masa hidupku bersamanya. Selepas hari itu, helmi tidak lagi datang menjengukku. Rasa rindu tersemak di kalbu dan aku membuat keputusan untuk pergi ke KL dan menziarahinya. Hatiku terasa amat gembira kerana dapat jumpa helmi semula.
Pada malam itu hanya kata- kata ini yang aku bawa pulang ke kampung.. " Intan, Helmi rasa kita lebih serasi menjadi sahabat sejati. Helmi ska berkawan dengan Intan.
Hidup kita berlainan..."
Sahabat sejati. Hanya setakat itu. ? Aku menyayangi Helmi dengan tulus ikhlas hatiku. Aku bereda dari situ dengan hati yang remuk.
" Helmi dah tidak sayangkan Intan ayah, " aku memberi tahu ayah apabila tiba di rumah sambil memeluknya.

Cinta kekasih datang dan pergi, cinta ibubapa dibawa ke mati dan cinta tuhan kekal abadi.

Dan dengan hanya mempunya kasih seorang bapa,ia lenyap begitu sahaja buat selama-lamanya apabila ayah ditimpa kemalangan jalan raya.
Hidupku hampir porak peranda. Ladang kebun dan sawak hampir terabai. Aku hanya tinggal seorang nenek bersamaku.

Beberapa minggu setelah kematian ayah, helmi muncul kembali dalam hidupku. Aku telah cuma melupakan kehadirannya dalam hidupku tetapi tidak berdaya. Dialah lelaki yang amat aku cintai dan sukar untukku melupakannya.

Ill write in english some other time.

The moral of this story is, a lover love comes and go, parents love will be with us till death and gods love will be will us till eternity.
Sometimes its hard to deal with situation in life where you overcome hardship not once or twice but lots of them maybe one after another. But we have to believe that what ever that happens will always have its benefits for us and we have to accept everything with an open heart .
Something that goes away has its own way of coming back to us :)

Okay im feeling sentimental after watching a malay love story followed by this one episode of ghost whisperer.

till here,
erni:)

dragon ball

2009-03-13T19:38:00.015+08:00

*..And again.. not all of us :S..*

*...Some of us...?:)*

*The second sweets, pansy + erni:)*

*The sweets, fivly + pansy:)*

*Ok, this picture seems wrong at an angle*
[ What exactly are you two trying to do ? ]
[ hendra + arief ]

*With pansy:)*
[ closing her eyes ]

*And fivly:)*
[ hi 5 ! ]

*And theres bandhu :)*

*And here comes hanwei:)*

*Ok, ive stop and ..peace :)*

*The addiction*
[ you need to control it erni ]

*Again. Ok getting sick of it :S*

* And again*

*Click again*

*Click*

hello :)
Okay this was all yesterday when the 9 companions when to watch dragon ball revolution or is it evolution? :)
Anyway the 9 companions were - Erni - Fivly - Pansy - Arief - Han Wei - Bandhu - Felix - Hendra + Arief's younger sister.
We when to cathay, cineleisure at somerset. We ate at sushi shop but i could not eat. Dont ask why :S
We took lots of pictures + new prints and above are some of them. The new prints are very smal but lovely! :)
After that, all disperse in our seperate ways - some when orchard, bugis, plaza sing, and bedok. + Tomorrow is still a school day. We dont usually go out after school ours.
Something new:)

....... Me, bandhu and han wei crossing the traffic light when suddenly a
crazy malay guy [with two companions ]
asked me.......

crazy guy : hey, hi, [ smiling ] , how old are you.?
erni : errr 16. :S
bandhu : [ as one of my companions standing on my right ], WHAT THE fcuk..!!!
han wei : [ as the my other companion ], huh, wah , what??!!!
crazy guy : ouh okay great. [ smiling + thumds up ] - when back to his friends

* To take note that all this happen in the middle of the road. - when cossing them. :D

Okay thats all.. more pictures will be uploaded. Just to many. :) So view it all :)

back to the past

2009-03-11T20:23:00.003+08:00

Blur again!!!

Okay its Kim Paulus Me Fivly and Arief. 2008. Having the bowling lesson.
I just got this picture and I LOVE IT!. I think kim was leading and me and arief was competing of who will be the last :)
Was a memorable day . Absolutely :)

love
erni:P

Chinatown & Peirce reservoir

2009-03-09T18:08:00.003+08:00

Hey !
.. and i didnt take any pictures again. Wrgh! ! ! !
Okay! ....Pansy did not come and i hope you get well soon:)
Today was english day and e when to Chinatown and peirce reservoir. The wind was awesome! ! ! !
Chinatown was not that crowded.
LIKE DUH!
Its 10 in the morning.
Haha !

Okay, overall today was alright. Kelvin is so ... wrgh! He pushed me and act like nth happen. It hurts ok! Dont think you care also. Nvm. Forgiven.
Ouh hahaha!
Isa was a * gag * just now. He made me cry . Reason - Laughed too much! ! ! !
Damn! ! ! !
He acted like * cik leh * . A funny actor in suria . Well actually hes not funny but his actions are.
Isa acted EXACTLY like him. Twins i suppose :)

Ouh and i finished my LAMBOGHINI! O.M.Geeeeeeeeeee!
So happy la.
I want to draw a cat now. Which i think is impossible. Hehe.

Okay till here for today

erni :)

ps : i embarrassed myself infront of the new student in 401 named Danial. Only Isa knows the whole story. SHUT UP ISA! :)

To you :)

2009-03-08T21:45:00.002+08:00

I saw you in my eyes
I imagined you in my mine
I visualised you sitting beside me
I programmed you to make me laugh
I dreamt about you
I saw someone that looks like you
I think of you when ever you are not by my side
I waited for you to appear again in my dream
I felt discourage when you said that specific word
I felt empty when your gone

How i wish you were mine
How i wish we were meant to be to together
How i wish you were here
How i wish ...... that dream would never end

What ever it is ... theres always,
a thought in my mind,
a light in my darkness,
a shadow in the dark,
a star in the sky,
a colour in the rainbow,
a candy among the sweets,
a smile beneath a sadness, and more importantly

a place in my heart ...for you....

The End
[ Of Part 1 ]

Okay. today when to bugis and bought a small bag and a shirt. Too tired to walk alot. Fatigue.
Worst! i havent draw a LAMBORGHINI! how the hell does Lamborghini looks like?

Hahaha, my eyes is so itchy right now. Not sure why. I just realised not to be angry or have a hard feelings towards someone. Someone just taught me that. Indirectly when i recalled my memorable times with him:). Well i still dont like him thought -The teacher. About the girl. Maybe i can see the good side of you. Ill try. Okay i wont try. I will just ignore you. Its BETTER that way. Just now at the mrt there was this hot guy! Okay he cant be hotter than my kai but hes hot! He is a professianal camera man i suppose. Anyway i wont change my heart. Just telling you the most attractive thing that i saw :) hehe!

okay till here,

erni :)

The End
[ Of Part 2 ]

reply :)

2009-03-07T20:30:00.005+08:00

well continue about the last post. I dont know if she will read it or ppl will tell her or her friends will hate me or will create story about me. Well others can say the same about me. I dont care anymore. Im going to smile all the way even if i dont have any friends. I know that i have my sisters all the way with me:) And to you girl... just dont bother me anymmore.

Wow! i watched the robot love movie today! The whole episode. It was not a sad ending but nor a happy one. However.... its not impossible to be in love with a robot and a robot also have feelings. Pure feelings that will last for eternity. One love that can never be developed by a human beings that will always have a part in them that is unsure about their own feelings. However im both happy and sad about the ending.
[ awak kite nak awk tgok crite dier. Mungkin kalau jumpe during march holis kite bleh pinjam kan awk. its interesting. but 11 episode. ]

Anyway.... yesterday when to city hall, peninsula and bugis street with bandhu and his mom.
haha .... the first shop at a building near peninsular i think was a horror! Luckily it wasnt me that is involve in the situation. Haha neither of us will ever go to that shop or to be specific that building anymore. Aunty was very steady. Well she has experience compared with two of us that was scared to the core that time. Silat was a slack yesterday. We didnt train as there were only 6 of us that came. We talked and then when home. I bought mac:) i ate too much mac this week! DAMN!

am i too cruel to ppl? Am i? I need to know. hAIS.. nvm :) cruelty is reality cos im being treated the same way sometimes. But maybe its unfair! Nothing is fair.

anyway.... awk...... [ thanks awk for the asurance . kite akan cube ignore dier. Ouh awk, dier masok pertandingan menyanyi dan berjaya ke second round. Awak tau aper dier ckp.. mcm sengajer and sarcastic gitu," kecian dan rugi yang kite tak masok eh, hais".... pastu dier continue, " aku betol2 perlukan pertolongan ngan sokongan kau, nanti aku nyanyi kau dgr dan comment dan bilang yang mane betol atau sala kay :) . Kite menyampah la awk. Mcm sandy menyampah dengan garthiga. Betol awk.. Takpe awk! kite akan sentiase positive! :) Kempate! hahaha... ]

" All he need was a good night kiss "
I do believe that one day all of us will have a robot lover that is just like TENJO NIGHT who will love you forver no matter what. Support you, cheer for you, well just everything
with only one purpose...
for you and your happiness
:)

ps : i forgot to take pic yesterday!!!! :S

F.M.B

2009-03-05T21:58:00.003+08:00

Okay. I donnt know why i dont like her but i simply dont! I dont usually dont like anyone seriously but this time COMFIRM. + her fav teacher that LOVE her so much. The byaatch . Well the name that goes.. WEEEEEEEE.

She irritates, annoys people, frusttrate me!, busybody, intolerable and she just cant stop being so ...BYAATCH. okay to be honest the one with the most characteristic i mentioned is the teacher.

Okay i maybe very bad to say harsh words to her but i cannot stand it. Especially this year. She slapped me! Hard! Rating : 7/10. When she should not! Everyone in class witnessED IT. PATHETIC! Im so regretting not slapping her back but after that., Every opportunities i had I TOOK IT ALL! Its a long story. Okay. not only that. All her annoying actions just swollen my eyes. Tried to look away but she will always be in my sight! And the teacher! Wrgh. i promise myself not to trust an alphabet that comes out his shitting mouth.

She is good in maybe many things but i just dont like sometimes ppl compare me and her and i have no idea why ME and also especially that teacher that always says ______ is good what ....she very pro you know. Whatever shit la! wrgh!

Today as you know pansy and fivly did not come so me and bandhu only. And there she was. All the way like we invited her. Okay i know she HAD feelings for bandhu but hey .. he DOESNT NOT.how sad. ... HMMPH! and WOOOHOOO!... shes not going for the kota tingggi..

oKAY i know i seems to be bad and over to talk about her like that but i cant lie to myself either.
So now i dun care.

to awk :..... kite tak tau la mcm aner atau aper nak uat. Byk.. okay tak banyak tapi tak kira la..even kalau satu org pon yang ckp .. the words lingers in my mind. Dorang ckp atau orang ckp yang kite suke mcm cemburu kat dier atau ppl suke compare ktie ngan dier. Ni pertama kali kite geram sangat kat dier. Slame ni kite slalu tolerate. Dan yang herannye buakn kite yang slalu kacau dier. Kite cume bilang fivly ngan bandhu ngan pansy jer. Kalau kite tak suke dier nye perangai and they do the same thing. Tapi yang org lain nak sebok kenape???...

Randomness :)

2009-03-05T21:28:00.005+08:00

hey!

HEAD NEWS!!!!!!!

I got to tell you guys how Hungry WARISA TAY was during maths class.
maths class, doing matrix worksheet..

erni asked " Have you interpret? "

Emphasis on the INTERPRET!

warisa answered " Im hungry .."
erni asked again " no i mean this question, have you INTERPRET!? "
WARISA ANSWERED.... " oh no i have not eaten bread. "

hahahahaha

Okay after dnt lesson when Mac with bandhu, Sri and Yanto. Talked alot. I think bandhu was bored for a while as we talked in indo. Sorry bandhu. Anyway. Pansy, Fivly and Arief did not come. Come dare they leave me alone ??:( hahahha well its okay. Get well soon guys. Its raining now and i have to whack For SOMEONE the eoi and hes doing the same for me. Hahaha dont know why we couldnt do our own thing.. hehe :) Well... Tomorrow got silat and it has been two weeks since i when for it.

SECOND HEAD NEWSS!

I dreamt about a guy name kai again... and the only think i could remember is that he said is...
" and i love you too " .

AHHHHHHH!!!!!... driving me up the walls and down again! Im happy! Eventhough its just in my dream. :) How i wish that someone could be like kai that i dream of... to be real! How i wish its kai himself! I love kai!

Hais... oaky anuchot is going to read my blog! Tag me anuchot!! :)
Oh and maya succeed in for the Ping yi idiol congrats maya! Eventhough okay i dont wan to be close to her. i dont wan say much cos later ppl say i jealous. Whatever. Especially that mr johnny wee! I usually wont be bothered my the teachers or pupil but this time mark my words! I dont like that F. M . B and that BYAATCH TEACHER!

Zap!

2009-03-03T19:48:00.002+08:00

hahaha! hello!

today was so cold! wrgh! Shivered in english class which last for 1 and half hour!
Anyway early in the morning i remembered the phrase.. " Zap you back to reality . "

hais... that was suppose to be part of a short poem. Long story nvm :)
Arief seemed kind of sick today. Pitied him :( Take care of your health Arief!
Went to eat Mac with kelvin and i still have to hit him 5 more times! For pouring my ICE away! How could he!..
Asked him two very funny/curious questions and got my answer :P Thanks ! haha :)
That was the first time i ate Mega Mcspicy. So spicy. Hahaha what do i expect.
mac - SPICY!
Tomorrow having dnt floorball homeworks laughter frustrations and annoyance! What a day to look forward too! haha Oh and P.E!!! AHHH!

cute,sweet n candid :)

2009-03-03T19:01:00.010+08:00

Finally me and jimmy took pic together while waiting for the mrt.
[ Edited it and maybe not nice but who cares!
..its nice to me :)]

^^
....And so did Hanwei and Jimmy :)
[ Peace no war! ]

^^
After tired playing psp we took pic while waiting for the concert to starts
and Han wei was our professional photographer :)
[ my face look big :S ]

^^
Pansy was concentrating playing DJmax.
Pansy : Im getting it! Erni : Are you sure pansy?? I can only see..
"break" all the way

^^
However Jimmy and Hanwei succeed :)
[ i love this pic! ]

^^
Me flagging for taxi. Looks tired holding the umbrella and not getting
any cab!
[ i look ugly :( ]

Okay!.... Thats the pic i edited from the class blog and maybe over edited :P hehe
Hopefully we can go out more often and more funny pics can be taken :)
love you guys :)

erni

concert :)

2009-03-01T18:56:00.005+08:00

ok ya right! i forgot to mention about yesterday, 28 of march 2009, Saturday.
Pansy, Han Wei, Jimmy and Erni [ me ] When to tanjong pagar, singapore conference hall to watch a band concert. Our school marching band performed. Before i illeberate about the band tell me just talked about the joourney there.... :)

We took mrt from bedok. It was raining AND pansy changed her mind not to wear a dress. haha. Hanwei reached 1 minute before 5pm, according to my watch but to his watch, he reached at 5.01pm. Dont care hanwei, you were early. The earliest. Sorry that all three of us were late. Anyway. We talked about some people some girls to be specific and when we reached tanjong katong mrt, hahaha , we were scammed by some band members FROM OUR SCHOOL! wrgh! and finally we took cab there. I finally got to meet fivly's elder sister. Pretty! I seriously thinks that only four of us were there to represent 402. haha anyway pansy is going to post some of the pics that we took in the class blog so go and check it out!

To me all the 10 bands were good and compassvale was awesome. Ping yi was ok but some parts was a mess. No offence but thats what i thought. Okay the band finished at 9.20pm and pansy somesort rushed home to finish her coursework which was due like 2 hours from 9.20pm. Her pc hanged in the end and just now morning only she handed it up! hehe.

Me hanwei and jimmy ate swenson at bugis and it was the very first time for
ng jun ming
( JIMMY ) to eat at swenson and taste the spaghetti + rodeo chicken. Thank god he enjyed it and so did the other two of us. We then took mrt home and this is what hanwei said when me and him waling towards the 229 bus station ...

han wei : " i want to go home "
han wei : " i seriously want to go home "
han wei : " ill rest for a while while waiting for my lil brother to come home "
han wei : " then ill take a bath and then sleep "
han wei : " i want to go home "
han wei : " i seriously want to go home "

erni : " Repeated everything han wei said twice ( while laughing :) "

haha and then he alight and when home before that i msg him something just to add to my laughing. haha no la actually to wake him up so nothing will happen to him till her reached his home :)

okay. Thats all :) buai buai !

shivers!

2009-03-01T18:25:00.010+08:00

^^
Waiting for someone to go and have lunch together.
...And suddenly it rains.

^^
Smiling under the rain, above the road pave waiting for a cab
:)

^^
Very angry, cannot get a cab to go home!
[ the pic looks ugly - meant to be :) ]

^^
Now im thankful [korean way] that i got a taxi and sitting inside it.

^^
and this is the end product of the journey today:)

Still shivering! So cold! Was suppose to go bugis but the rain was so heavy that we cancelled the plan :(. However had lunch near geylang there and played with the rain. Took a cab home and had a memorable day :) Met kamsani and his family there. Coincidence? Nah... not surprise to see him there. HE and his family often go there to eat. Anyway. I have to do hw later. tHE MOOD FOR STUDY AND DOING HOMEWORK HAS DISSAPEARED! haha
ill have to go and find them back! ciao!

love erni :)

New!

2009-02-26T20:18:00.004+08:00

Hey! i forgot to say! i got a new lover! Well. Maybe i did tell you about him :)
-> akil . Okay fine this one ofcos you wont believe right? Im bull shitting.
HOWEVER!
Did i tell you about a person name kai? Did i? No i dint. :)
Well i dont love him cos i like him cos if i love him means i dont like him and if i dont like him means i hate him and if i hate him means i love him cos hate is equal to love and i wont easily fall in love again. Understand?

Never mind. Not for you to know also. But the thing that you need to know is that hes hot. Okay not that hot just ectreme heat! Haha. Hes sweet, caring, silly and brings up my spirit when i am in my lalala world.

Ofcos i can show you his pic. If not you will be attracted to him and there goes my chance. :P
hAHAHAHA.. well one day i introduce him to you guys. One fine day perhaps. :) hehehe

[ hanya awak yang pham ]

2009-02-26T20:01:00.010+08:00

^^
The sinking * sampan *....

^^
.... and down they when.

^^
Taking turn to meet victory found at the bottom of the river.
JUMP ! JUMP ! JUMP !

^^
Looking forward to the future that awaits us.

^^
Getting ready for the journey in Vietnam.

These are some pictures to whole as sweet memories. It may be blur, all of them but when i edit it, it apprears perfectly ok in my pc. Not sure why blur now. Too bad la :)

Assumptions again

2009-02-26T19:09:00.003+08:00

hey y'all ! Today common test ended at 12.30 pm! So happy!
like Quan said : So happy :
This saturday pansy and me are going to the singapore concert hall or something like that. Cant wait. That bandhu cannot or dun want to come as ... ehem.... well he got things to do. Anyway.... I pass my maths! so happy. :) However i think im falling physic.:( I hate physic it sucks! No offence hanwei. YOu love physic, i know.

I told fivly and bandhu not to mention the name again. Hais. Why will my reaction suddenly change? Its it wrong to have the sudden change? May be it is but too bad i just cant help it.

oUH! today some of us talked about the prom that will happen like at the end of the year. So long. That maya wants to sing i think. Can she? Hahaha i am bad. Joking maya. Anyway olevel has to come up first before that prom night can oocur. Hmmph. I wonder who my date is. Who will ask me to be thier date? Hahaha okay im over feeling it. Whatever la. :)

Ouh i am very confuse. I guess its the same goes to me actually. She is my friend and he is his friend. HAIS good friend, are we drifting apart from being good friendS? it seems to be that way. You know my reaction when you are with him and your attitude towards me has changed. Maybe you dont realise it but i do. Cos it impacts me somehow. I duno why. Maybe i tell you things and you tell me things. I kind of scared to lose a friend like you or others. Or maybe something i did that makes you like that. ..? i wonder.

Hahaha including luan na, already 4 person assume the same thing. Can please dont jump into assumption and worst do not spread your encertainty. its BULL SHIT!.
okay la.. good nite. Im planning soething to do now. Sweet dreams. :)

ps :) i havent design the class t. Not sure if to leave theo job to my " partner " a not? a risky thing to do :P

2009-02-21T17:17:00.003+08:00

Past to the Future makes me and him together forever.

Well today when for the malay competition. Didnt win anything BUT "gossip" about alot of people. hahaa. Well actually its more about voicing out our opinions. However i believe everyone has a good and bad side including me.

HAHAHAAHA. post to everyone : Name five negative things about erni. Describe and Explain.
[ With specification ]

Anyway, today felt tired even though didnt do much things. Get to spent time with friends that i dont hang out much with. Laughed alot with my malay teacher who is extremely cool! and she treated all of us mcspicy meal. Yummy! Tomorrow madrasah and i hate it. Okay i dont like it. Last week i never go and there was a test. I have to write a letter to explain why i didnt come. Actually i over slept but im going to lie [bohong sunat]. Ah! i cannot see my love again.
He is going back to malaysia to visit his grandmother over there. Ill miss him. Not sure when hes coming back :( Wrgh. Hope that he will be alright there. Hais. Oh and hais again as common test is like 2 more days. Oh haha. R and E are so similar omg. Just knew it. What a byaatch. Anyway as long as they dont give me a headache, i dont give a damn . :)

Im going to study for maths and guess what...? I HAVENT DESIGN CLASS - T. !!!
so gonna be kill. Hahaha but they cant cos without me doing no one else will do. I think. What am i talking about of cos they will still do it . Wakakakakaka. :D

Slreading the love

2009-02-20T18:10:00.004+08:00

Loooovvvveeeeeee !!!

hey hey you you. ! Im improving in maths and also in playing piano. From nothing to something :)
Anyway, today was alright i guess. Let me think, what happened today. Oh ya..

NUDGE!!!! - talked to Quan on the phone for 5.32 mins. Hahaha. First candidate for pansy and me " joking " . Anyway, on monday the news will be spread but im sharing it now. I didnt know anything actualy till when i was on the way out of school just now. Farah told me that there was a fighting between the locals and all the vietnam and one ne of the vietnamies boys was injured badly. My mind automatically thought of Quan and Kevin. I was scard if one of them was injured.
I called Quan and luckily nth happen.

Hehehe i didnt call kevin cos he doesnt seems to be the right person to talked to. Even though sometimes what ever Quan says leaves me with ?????? but its fun as i got to laugh all the way:)
Whatever it is.. both of them are alright and didnt get into much trouble with mr Quan or the police. Hais.

Later i got silat. Hais so tiring and next week is common test! wow! ...

erni shows gurleen : " eh see my hand "
gurleen says : " i love kai "
fivly interupted : " no la gurleen, its i love KA "
erni says : " tiao..! very funny "
gurleen says : " together ready ? "
erni says : " no la, just friends "
gurleen says : " still talkig right? Tell me what happened "
erni says : " later la "
gurleen says : " later never comes.. i hate you :) "

haha - another one

fivly says : " erni later i need to go at 6 oclock sharp as i cannot be late "
erni says : " late for what? dont go so fast la "
fivly says : " late for the piano lesson at bugis "
pansy interupted : "huh who suicide? "

haha this randomness was a total gag during physic class. :)

pansy says : " erni that is what mye lay told me - dont forget the formula-s - "
erni says : " oh ya. haha mye lay's father "

fivly interupted : " huh who farted ? "

hahaa... okay thats all for today. :)

Ps :) ng jimmy im still waiting for you to onle and sent the pics especially han wei's pic. :)
:) in face book, someone name " Yushan Ng " gave me a shock of my life. [ Yushan - Ng ] ..? thing about it. hahahaha

Slreading the love

2009-02-20T18:10:00.001+08:00

2009-02-17T17:46:00.002+08:00

hey :)

Omg i can pass my chemistry getting 22/30. First time . However i failed english. ! How can that happen! Whats happening to me??.... AHHH! im freaking out! I need to do something to my english or else....!

Anyway i played piano. Somehow release some tension. Actually not that much but it takes me away for a while from the misery of the cruel world. I at chocolate and gave some of my freinds drawings that i sketched. I hope they will treasure it!...
hais im also scared to lose my friends in years to cme. Well they wil have new friends to get along and spent time with.

Anyway, kim has changed. His attitude is changing. Maybe he doesnt realise it but as a frined i do. This is year, i controlled my anger quite well. I do not want to get angry. At anyone as all my anger has been eaten up by forgiveness. However, hais. I really really wished that i didnt get to invloved my life with his but its too late. I do not want to remember any of it. Please. The last is in this post. Forever.

Yes! i controlled my anger, actually erased it. The one that i throwed at my good friend. Im sorry. :( BFF!

kay till here. Too much homework waiting for me.

Signing out : floffline

dreams

2009-02-16T17:07:00.005+08:00

This is me in the bus:) hehehehehehehehe

HEy. this is specially for you[ the text below + the smile that i carve for you]

the dream was about me,you him and her. Well it happened somewhere, i cant remember exactly where. Never mind the main point is that. All four of us we best friends Especially you and me. You were so happy with her and being by her side. Me and him were very happy for you two. The sweetest couple. But deep down the feeling of uncertainty about you two still lingers. However, the dream tells me that it is not IMPOSSIBLE for the two of you. :) Just don't ever forget that i exist. I had experienced once before. Lost a friend just because he got a girl friend. Me, as the best friend was totally left out as if a speck blown into the air.. and gone. After broke up, find me to be the consultant. However he still is my friend.

I know you are not like that. :) I believe in you, in all my friends. :) Hopefully you do believe in me too. :)

I bought chocolates. :) I didnt know what to buy. Really duno so i bored small chocolates. Just hope that my friends will accept it.

Thank you ...
= Fivly : For the heart in the basket :)
= Pansy : For the orange flower :)
= Sri : For the cute white n pink bunny pencil box :)
= Arief : For the chocolate :)
... for now.... hahaha

i love him

2009-02-08T20:46:00.004+08:00

muacks!.. im in a good. very good mood today..!

not sure why. But he kissed me! haha. Ofcos i kissed him back . i love him. His name is ahmad akil. Hes my one and only love. And... THATS HIM! Adorable couple right?? I think so too. Anyway. ill be meeting him again soon.

wow. haha didnt expect. I thought he was asking for an opinion for her. so i told everything la about any gifts that he could give her. Well i asume its for her. Hahaha.. but then he said." i rather duno, i giving you la. "

hahaha.. I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM TOO. not sure whatt to give ppl for valentines day. Last year was chocolate. Anyway. homeworks are becoming a mountain from hill. But the story that yunrun shared with me. Im so touched knowing it. And he already bought me the present.

he called me a loser. ! WTH!!.. shocked but then everytime, the word still lingers in my mine. Hais. eventhough it has been teo years. It still sticks to me like glue. Whatever la. Oh hahhaa.. this 14 feb im going to machrichi reservoir in the morning. Dont ask y. haha

okays... I am now his lover. And im sure he misses me too. He shed tears just now when i had to go back.

Sweet dreams my love.

fatigue.

2009-02-04T22:54:00.003+08:00

hello :)

haha.. ive learn another lesson. Do not believes in sweet talkers. Expecting hopes. And my dear said ( pansy ) hope is a bitch. Hahaha. i have to agree to that. Anyway. Im happy for a friend.. Hes in love/like. Well her name is _____ . haha. Anyways. Im feeling better now. Thanks anuchot. Im missing you man. Hias. I called out your name during poa and chem class. Nearly cried went i was alone remembering the airport incident. However the good thingis that we care about each other and staying in touch.

Thank you for giving me the strength to fight my non so anger type of thing. Sorry to make you in a hard position. Anyway thank god that i had not fall deeply or tatally with him. Quarter of the time i was hoping that he was real but then i can see for myself. Forget it. Not important.

Congrats kestler. !!! for winning the match. yEah... kestler. im scared hes angry at me. He didnt reply my msges. And his words since last two years still lingers in my mind. Hope that he doesnt have that thinking any more. Hhahah what a joke ofcos he does. Nvm. :) ill always be happy for him.

Having high fever and bad teriible soarthroat yet, had to scream just now for cross country cheering. This fever is worsening my condition. hais. SHIT! HAHA.. okay guys. muacks.
nite. :)

help!!!

2009-02-03T19:36:00.002+08:00

hais.... im so stupid right..? i cant get it.. I dont want to think or believe but my heart says why not..?
thats what happen wen the heart takes control. Argh! he said that. he is the best friend. Wow. My heard is broken. okay well not broken. Its cracking. I need to learn to really not get involve in this kind of situation. Sumomore.. my good friend,hw, say something that kind off hurting and insulting. But im not angry at him.. hes my good friend. :) I was hoping well it might be true you know. Ive always thing of something that is positive. it could bring happyness. But whenever i try, theres always something that says other wise. hais...

2009-02-01T20:41:00.002+08:00

what am i suppose to do next?... will it change the situation? will it be different..? hais....

ill miss you :)

2009-01-30T15:01:00.006+08:00

hello people.

Erm for now if i got question then i say okay.:)

Anyway.. Im really kind of sad. Even though i am not that close to anuchot but he is my clasmate and now my chemistry lab partner. I wont have any partner if he is gone. He is leaving me, leaving us, leaving 402, pingyi and also singapore! He is going back to thailand forever and continue his studies there. I kind of close to him now and i am really feeling sad. I made him a last minute card, quite big and i gave him my profile and adrress. Tomorrow some of us will be going to suntec city. His flight is this sunday and im not sure if il make it to sent him off. This is a second time for me to sent a friend off like forever. Ill miss you anuchot,we will miss you. Hope that you will remember us and miss us too.
I cried today. Alot ! red eye demon. Just for him. I was so sad that i hugged hujung. no she hugged me then i hugged her back. :) i hope that he will always be happy.

Okay, kestler msg me of asking whether wan to go jia fen house tomorrow for cny. Well truthfully hmm.. he and jiafen to me seems close. Hahaha well infer yourself. Im not sure if ill go. First i havent buy her birthday present and second, it will be weird. So many chinese talking loudly and you know they will laugh and talk. I have the feeling that ill be kind of left alone. Not sure. :( Hmm.

Can i remind everyone not to remind me off him! Please. I dont know why i acted so weird. I feel angry or annoyed with people that are close to him and then can be close and laugh and be my good friends. Well i know ill be unreasonable to act that way but the emotions are made naturally and i will have to change it. Im bot sure why i reacted that way. The more you (good friend) ask me if im angry anot, i will say no but the fact is yes. I can understand if its my fault. It is actually. I cant stop you from hating your friend right? But i really hope that our friendship will never be destoyed by anything. Im really sorry good friend. [ Im sorry guys especially you good friend. I will try my best not to. Hope you wont be angry or what. :)

Anyway. Enjoy your holidays:)

Unbelievable!

2009-01-18T23:08:00.006+08:00

yo people!

Question : " No question "

Wow!
an exciting news pops up today. i HAVE TO SHARE THIS HAPPINESS OF JOY. I didnt expected it to come but this just made the evidence concrete! Thank you! I was having some doubts of facing him but now. I cant wait to gives him all the shits that stucks in my mouth . wELL i need to clean it all and put it onto him. Ok maybe not all is his fault but 99.99 % is his.
Wow! Just wow!

Now i know why- i mean the reasons. The main one. Well YOU REALLY ARE A CHEAP LYING BASTARD ARENT YOU. Read my previous blog. Hahaha. Im so relieve that its over. I dont give any more dunks towards you. No .. nothing. Im guessing you agreeing with it.? Better do. I sounds harsh but believe me its only towards you. You made me become a monster but only towards you. How awesome is that. I thought i was the main reason, but i was wrong and my wished came true. You ARE MAKING people substitute for her. I am a really stupid girl that time. Fuh. ive learn my lesson. Thank god.! I should have known with your actions you just. Well... you know what. i really thinks you did the right choice. As i cant forget him either . Like ive said. So .. but hey.. you were worst. I know myself.

Me and sandy talked in msn about some things. Happy stuffs and boom. The climax began. Just cant wait for tomorrow. It gives me the energy. wOOHOO! freaking UNBELIEVABLE. I JUST NEED TO SHARE IT AND then explode it, your friends thinks you are an angel but the fact is that you are a snake with two heads.

Polytechnics

2009-01-11T12:04:00.007+08:00

yo people. :)
Question is " What is the word for a person that who only wants people to listen to you and make me so stupid to fall for that ? "
Answer " Pathetic human like you !! "

When to tampines poly and sp but mostly tp. Had a chance to know a good friend better. I believe we got alot of same situation. Its good to have someone that listens and give advice. Im so happy and glad to have a good friend . However. theres a scene, THATS MAKES ME LAUGH when i remember of it. Very funny. ! Hahahhahahahhaaaa.... talked alot. and it was very you know.. like a best friend talk?... you know what i mean?... so free and calm.

anyway. Itss ending. I got the answer. But not from him himself. Actually... i knew she knows something. Only i didnt want to ask. To me. if you think you should tell me. You tell. If you dont think. then dont. If you trust then trust. If you dont then dont be close to me. :) You somehow hold a secret about me. Its ok:) i appreciate it. You may keep it. :) no worries. But with the information, iif somehow you would jugde me. Then its up to you again. :)

Dear you,
this is the last of you in my life. Erasing every peace of you.
you suck. you really do!.... Are you even a man? Well whatever! Thank you anway. Ive realise that because of you, ive lost lots of friend. Just because of you,ive hurt myself in the past. And with you , i become so cold hearted that i made my friends sad and angry. Made mistakes in life. Why am i so stupid. ! Gosh! How come i didnt see it coming?! No! please dont give me that lamest excuse!. Wrgh! Like you did to them. Well im not them! You are a coward! You cant face a fact that you broke a heart and you are running from admitting it. You say im a person full of negatives? Try being in my place. Well. If you dont trust? Then you are just an IDIOT. Hopeless. yeah. thats the word. So waiting for me huh? Ill give it to you then. Hahaha... later.. part of you and some friends will somehow say its my fault. Well i tell you! Its not. You can hate me, or whatever. I dont care anymore. Yeah. Mark my words. All the sadness and hope, care i had for you had VANISH!... Nothing at all about you. Simply NOTHING. i wish you have some guilty feelings but if you do not. Hahaha.. ive no word to describe you.
You jugde the book by its cover, and when you open the book you dont like the content, you just leave it lying there. And then eventually close it. What a freak. Im being mean but you are worst. Damn! how blind am i?. You are just a cheap bastard. I was so stupid not to see that. Im sorry for treating you right. IVE made mistakes and im sure i have to redeem all. And maybe i sound like a byaach but you are just a Damn.! Ive tried to change like you asked to. Not sure why i listen to you. Changing take a long time but im making progress. But you? Look into the mirror and also see what have you done. I must say thank you for caring for me for the past. But i guess this is the end. LIKE WHAT YOU WISH AND WANT RIGHT?I want it to cos i cant stand with your attitude. ive actually roughly new that you want it to end. Was just wasnt sure and was still well cares for the best. But now. nah. You will say that you dont wan hurt me and also not in the future as im a girl. Ive learn alot and remember all the words you say but you are the opposite of all the thing you said. How ironic. Pathetic person. Owww..! yeah. thats right. Ive learn my lesson and realise that thers like lots more guys out there that is wel alot better that you. I hope that i you vanished from my life. I really do. I know what you had done and i know im wrong for even knowing it but i believe that god will always forgive people even the smallest or the biggest sin. Anyway. You treat me like a stranger now. When stupid me was still caring for you. A stranger? So be it. I know you can have your points to debate for yourself. But i seriously dont care anymore. Truthfully from the bottom of my heart .Nothing!. I know im wrong but i cant let the guy out of my mind. Not even you could erase him. Goodbye..!:D

erni.

Ow talking about that. Kim is my tuition teacher for piano lesson. I love kim haha... I love all my classmates. Oh and this is for you good friend. You always will have your classmates and friends and if not,you could always trust that you have me to be a ear and will always be here to understand.
I hope my friendship with my good friends will be close for as lon as we live. I really do. I will forget people that hurt me till i cant find any space in me to fill them up.

Ok a new life begining with new people and new sweet memories. Muahaha. :)

Unexpected ..! ♥

2008-12-29T18:09:00.004+08:00

Yo people..!

Question " What do you do when people trash you up? "
Answer " Simple trash them back or join in like i always did :D "

Okies.. people.. Miss me? Anyone?.. Haha.. im being lame.
Ok i did go for training.. It was funny, tiring and painful. Why? Im getting hit everywhere. Haha.. i fall like a rotten wintermelon accompanied by one junior of mine and i hit the goal post and when inside it. Hahaha.. It wasnt that painful.. i just cant stop laughing. I bleed a bit at my gum and teeth and mouth. Got hit by a powerful ball from lava to defend the small goalpost.. I got mountains everywhere.. and just now at my lips. So big. Numb and pain but fun. Hey no pain no game rght?

Erggh! i hope that i can play for the 31. Please3! I want to.! Hay ..even though im not as fast and strong as the boys but getting to kick some guys butt is so satisfying. Haha. Joking! Erm.. I really want to try to cut my frich beetle style..Actually just of of curiosity what will it loks like.. However im scared what it looks like after that.
Anyway i cant stop laughing and i dont know why.

Okie!.. i feel awkward-weirdly excited to knows whats always coming, what mystery im solving or having the adventure for tomorrow. :D But deep down the feeling of fear still haunts me cos i thing im not going to do the.. you know..the.. o........- not yet . Maybe in the future. I just want to be free and happy . I know its going to be life threatening.. but it sound like a challenge. :D Im not taking this problem lightly but i just thought that if it fated to be.. it will be :)

Sweet dreams everyone.

andaiku tahu bila tiba ajalku ...........

Never ending dreams

2008-12-27T21:12:00.004+08:00

hey people :) has sweet dreams?
i total did 7 eoi! what a accomplishment ...! OUH right.. question

Question : " If you were to have one wish and one wish only what will it be? "
Answer : " I would to have a fairy tale life- with flowers that always blossom-love pouring everywhere-candy floss in the garden accompanied by a fountain-friends that appreciate every words that you said and a prince that will sacrifice his life to save mine and ofcos no worries to stress about "

Ok.. tomorrow having training. And on 31 ill be in the tournament. Well hopeful. Im not to well to go but i may not want to let people down or myself. I really want to play but im afraid.... Well forget it. :) Haha my juniors are so funny. One after another msg me about tomorrow. Ok i know its not funny. Ok yushan : how about tues? are we going out or what? If yes..? Where? Visit monkey bear? Hahaha.. im joking my dear. Ok.. let see what i have for today post. Erm.. I want to cut my hair, well actually just the frinch but im scared ill look weird. Hehehe. Ouh! I read the "follow your heart" book. And its awesome! it really depends on what your heart decide to know the following event. Only that in this book when you dont like the decision you have made, you could retrace it back and change it. How wonderful if life is that way.. but the mystery of tomorrow will vanish. As expected, i read all about it. Retrace all and everytime cant wait for the end part of every decision that has been made. :]

Ive read one of my friends blog and i guess its coincidence? Ive wrote about missing my friends, my old friends. I still am. And i really do. They were always there for me. My primary school friends. Especially when i was in primary 6. :) We never fight. And always go anywhere together regardless girl or boy. I still remember one time when it was hari raya time. We were so hungry that they ask my mom to cook while we when to other house firt to collect money and then come back to eat. My house was like a school and a second home for them and was also like a cc. Once we has to do a project and none did so finally they decided to come early in the morning like 6am in the morning..all of them came to my house and do it till like school time. I think that time we were going sch late or something. At last the project was done earlier that we expected but all didnt want to go home. Haha we watched a horrow movie and everyone was wearing school uniform and the laughing part come when fazli was so scared of the ghost that he falls behind from the rocking chair. Hahaha... i konw sweet memories stays with us.

Anyway..

Ok.. im scared actually.Mostly alot of things that im not sure why or what it is. but theres just fear always running down my spine. I know it sounds really ridiculous but thats th truth. However this especially one thing. Its becoming.. well.. more serious matter? Haha i sound serious. Well.. to me. Happy thoughs will keep me alive.Hhaha.. im not being pessimistic here but ..hais.. forget it. Love you guys.

Love erni.

Sweets :)

2008-12-25T19:48:00.004+08:00

Hey people ! Merry Chirstmas.

Question : " Why cant you forget the person you love? "
Answer : " Maybe because you love them so much that deep down you cant let them go away from your life. No matter how hard you want to, it stays with you like you heart does. It cant go away can it? It may be hard but you should just remember them. If you want to then try to just remember them as a memory.- i know im just saying yet im not implying it to myself. "

Anyway, ate chocolate. :) Which is not good for me right now. Im sorry nadhirah for your lost. Everyone loses someone they love. I did. But theres a saying the lost have thier own way of coming back to us:) You know what... Today i watches lots of santa movie and im starting to believe in miracles. Not that im believing it fully but it may happen though... I suddenly miss my friends.. My old friends especially.. :( I wish they are here. Really. A happy + sad feeling coming towards me right now. I wish that he was here.. Making me happy. Smiling and laughing together, however i guess its just a dream right now. Im not sure what happen between us but im just leaving it to the wind again.

Hehehe.... so! Enjoying the holidays guys? i sure did. I mean trully.. Not that much you know but all the training, outing, played apart in cheering me up!

Hmmph.. im scared though.. I want to forget about it existing but the thing is.. IT exist! and its not forgetting me. But so many questions you know.. lingering at my mind right now. If i do this how about that. If i do that what happen to this. This and that. Alot! Everyone telling me the same thing over and over again. Maybe its the right thing. But the way they say and approach about it ..Makes me want to do the opposite and hack care about it! Yup! Thats me..

Ok guys:) love you guys

Astonished :)

2008-12-24T22:37:00.010+08:00

Hey people :)

Question : " Anyone one to be in a party full of gays? "
Answer : " Yup.! i would like to interview them about their lifes and..ehem... about their love lifes maybe. hehe just out of curiosity "

[ I know.. what type of question is that right? ]

Anyway... read the blog. And was pretty sure..its for me.. cos the phrase was from me .. hehe.. anyway thanks. :) Appreciate it though. :) Didnt know tht you read mine everyday.. Im fine. i think. A prove with this pic.

Haha.. i was... ehm..? releasing stress? Hahaha.. weird i konw.. by taking pics.. heres more..

HEhe.. i tried to make the effect like i was holding my breath under the sea..

weee! Hahaha.. this one.. Maybe i want to see things bigger? In another angle? Looks funny right?... Maybe thats about it ..For now..

Ermm.... This holiday is sooooo boring. Haha.. but one thing for sure, today 12am .. Merry Chrismas to all my friends! Here there and anywhere they are! Remember me!... ..And... final suzuki champion! Thailand vs Vietnam. No offence... but Thialand have to win..!

Ok.. awaits to see the two small people.. As i cant see the look on her face:)

Forgiveness ♥

2008-12-23T15:31:00.005+08:00

Happiness with cows!
hey people :
)

Question : " What does friendship means? "

Answer : " To me, its a really big deal if a person doesn't have a friend that they can trust, that they can laugh,cry,quarrel together. A friend is whom you could tell a secret, well i mean a true best friend. Maybe bestfriendS. Not everything you could tell you parents, and not everything is about what you think. Friends may tell you whats right and whats wrong cos mostly we listen to our friends more than an adult. I agree with that. For me, sometimes when im lost, ill tell them and they are always there to guide and support. Im very grateful to have you guys. :) Hahaha... ill treasure you guys :)

However, ive forgive but not sure if i ever forget. Ive got alot from of a friend but not a best friend. Anyway, it still hurts but not as much. Im just letting everything go. While i can ..haha im talking crap right.? Joking!

Ok. Hows day people? Mine is normal. Actually.. been quite quiet lately. Im not sure why. Im not sad or what... Just fell like keeping quiet, reading books and doing dnt which is like no ending to it.!! I cant wait to meet my good small people and get killed by one of them. I told them about the real thing.Im not sure actually if to bring up the thing up. Im not sure if they will either. Half of me wants to but yet the other half just dont feel like talking about it.But if they talked about it, ill think ill go with the flow.:) Ive read the "cures for heartbreak " fully. Its a nice story. Indirectly happy ending but lots of heartbreaks and lost of people that the main character love.

Some sentences i would like to remember angain before i give the book back.

♥ People everywhere are unwittingly causing their own disease.

♥ Maybe worry could safe our lifes,- if you could prepare for the worst, maybe it might make it a little easier.

♥ Love can happen to anyone, at any time where ever you are.

♥ maybe that.. love is in the layers,- you can peel back one and the old loves will still be there and you can check on then and return to them whenever you want.

♥ Life is about change and impermanence.- accept things as they come, focus on whats happening right now and not let changes upsets you.- Even death isnt a bad thing as its part of the changes.

♥ It isnt possible to love and to apart.

♥ If grief had a permanence,then didnt also love?.

♥ ♥ Bashert - it meant "predestined" and "fate" and "soul mate" and "the person with whom you were meant to be"

dear you, ♥

i hope you are enjoying your holidays .Sweet memories. miss you.

love, erni ♥

Thats about it.Anyway.. im starting on " following your heart ".Hais school is opening soon and again im excited yet scared too of what might happen. What will happen. Im happy though. Although quite lonely and quiet at home but i guess its better that to have headache again. Got sick. but everone does right? Besides its a school holiday. :) ok till here. Love erni. :D

Shine ♥

2008-12-19T14:47:00.005+08:00

hey :)

Question for you " Are dreams are meant to be real? "
My Answer for you " Well, some people says that dreams are one sleeping games that your mind is playing tricks on you but some do believe that its real. Its up to each individual actually. For myself, half of me does not believe thats its real however the other half believes that its the only place that you could imagine the imposibility of the world, you could be in the life that is always wished for and the only place that you could write your own future, past and present. Its the most beautiful place that you could posibly be at. Its your caslte, your Prince, your Princess. It will be the sparkling flowers that shines through the layers of cloud accompanied by the 7 wonderful colours of the rainbow. Its the place that you can carve the sweetest of the sweet or the worst of a nightmare. Its up to you. N that is what dream is to me "

Ok. :) Theres nothing much to talk about now but ive read quater of the book titled " cures for hearbreaks " Not yet come to the part of LoVe but i would like to remember these sentences. Some of it i dont really catch any balls but here it is.

♥ It seems to me that our thress basic needs, for food and security and love, are so mixed and mingled and entwined that we cannot straightly think of one without the others. ♥
♥ History .... isn't simply what has happened. Its a JuDgeMeNt on what has happened. ♥
♥ Love .... bright as sunshine ♥
♥ Loss .... large as the ocean deep ♥
♥ Time .... will heal your heartbreak ♥
♥ Memories .... will bring you peace ♥

Ill tell more when the story continues. :)

Chip n Dale ♥

2008-12-18T22:15:00.008+08:00

hey:)

question of the day " Do you trully believe that miracle could happen? but what if it makes us happy but it trash someone else? "
my answer " Miracle? i do believe. but sometimes believing is not enough. well i have no answer for the othe one but everyone comes back to having a choice. Make a good one.:) "

Ok. today when out with my old school friends and total up it was 9 of us all together. It was fun and tiring first time sweating in dancing with yushan haha and ride a motorbike. :) Didnt get to watch to movie but yunrun said it was so boring. Took picture with them [ finally ] cos most dont want except kestler. HAHA. After that ... haha monkey bear told me " erni dont give up hope but give up bullying " haha... HOPE .. heard that before. Have you? Over all it was a nice day. Had a fun time after stuck at home doing dnt over and over again and thinking. Love them.

Anyway i got a question that im not going to answer. Maybe someday someone will answer .Since i dont have a tagboard. Why is yushan so "tall"? Wakakaka JOKING ! that wasnt the question. The question is that .....
why do i have to be in this situation. It is soo irritating-annoying-fustrating-heartbreaking. Why? i never choose it. However i have to go through it sincerely when deep down its reluctantly. Hais.. i have to be patient huh.

No offence to Christmas or people celebrating it. Its just im hearing the song everywhere that i made up a song for myself . Just a short one. Here it goes. ♥

Nothing seems to go
With expectations of my flow
All just keep on coming down
Like rain hitting the ground

Why world is full of spice
Why cant it be nice
Everybody smile smile smile
But its just full of lies

Jingle bells
Bumpy smells
Vase is made of clay
I am mad
I am sad
Nothing seems ok

Jingle bells
Mummy yells
I am born in may
Never did
Never will
Knows what world could be.

If i could see the future and compare it to the past, i would do some adjustment to it and make it perfect. However NOTHING is perfect.

♥♥♥♥ love

Forever ♥

2008-12-14T21:38:00.036+08:00

ok:)
to introduce some people in my life. except from my families. Well actually just for me to love ♥ them everytime and refresh my memory. Also to you guys who viewing:D

this is nadhirah ♥ a good and best friend, smilling always and waiting for her prince.[ shes the blue one ]

this is yushan ♥ a good and best friend too, optimist always and maybe hugging her teddy bear for protection. [ no offence yushan. shes the second one ]

this is sandy ♥ a good friend, evil in a good way.

this is kestler ♥ a really good friend,and a brother. love him but only as a brother [ long story ] . his part of the monkey babies family.. the rest i dont have thier pics :(

yunrun ♥ a really good friend and a brother too. hes funny and i call his monkey bear not teddy bear :) [ no offence bro ]

...

AND those are some of the people in my life. they are more important than some of the other. Nt that the others r not important. just say that all are important but these people create a place in my heart and they stay in it.:) till here.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ love.